Continuing with our series on communicating with your kids, this time we’ll be talking about listening instead of talking.
LISTEN, DON’T JUDGE AND BE HONEST – GIVE THEM SPACE
And most of all, stay calm. I know our first instinct usually is to protect them from what we know is surely impending mistakes. But, especially with older children, we have to realize that they have to find their own way and we can’t always fix everything in their lives. Sometimes we just have to be there to catch them when they fall.
Here are more comments from other moms and moms to be:
I always tell my boys that I am open to anything they want to talk about as long as they are honest with me. This keeps the line of communication open.
My son knows that he can trust me with his secrets. And I’m learning to identify the situations and times of day when he’s more willing to talk freely.
Annette D Says:
I am the Mom of two sons, one 16 the other 20. I have found that it is very important for you to trust you kids and that they can trust you as well. I have tried to be understanding and have let my kids know that they can tell me anything and I will try to be understanding and not judgmental. I have great kids and a wonderful relationship with both of them.
My son is recently married and I don’t want to intrude on them too much, so we e-mail each other and talk on the phone just often enough to hear what is going on in each other’s lives and we get together every week or so. Thank you for the wonderful giveaway
My kids don’t have any cells yet because first, I don’t believe in them having them unless they’re very active, and my kids are always with me unless I’m at work. So… the way I keep the lines of communication open are by listening to them all the time without judgement, and by telling them if they don’t lie to me and treat me the way they want to be treated, we won’t have a problem. it’s working so far!
Annette D Says:
I am so lucky to have two wonderful sons, ages 16 and 20. I have always stressed to them that they can tell me anything. I have been able to keep the lines of communication open with them by being honest and not over reacting.
I have already raised 2 teenagers, 2 to go. I found that the best approach is not to pry or snoop, but to be a good listener, and not be judgmental. Teens will make mistakes, but if you give them a little freedom to do so, that’s how they grow up. I also practice patience, which helps my listening skills.
Carolyn G Says:
The best way is to make sure that the lines of communication are always open. And that anything that is spoken about is without judgment and will be heard.
I try not to be judgemental, and ask them to be responsible. For example, while some parents might forbid drinking, I recognize that that is a part of most teenagers lives (if there is a will there is a way) so I have asked my kids to be honest about it… and if they need a ride home to call me rather than doing things in secrecy and taking rides from drunk drives.
Nancye Davis Says:
When I am talking with my kids I relly work hard to just LISTEN. I make sure I am really HEARING what they are saying.
Hello I am a sixteen year old and my mother has the greatest way to keep our lines of communication going strong! The main thing my mother does is she is honest with me. I think honesty is a huge aspect between parents and child communicating. I also think that trust is a huge factor in keeping your relationship and communication strong. If you keep these factors strong and out in the open you will have no problems communicating. I belive that these factors help me and my mother bond and have a closer relationship more then ever. I also think with the growing technology that communicating and talking about how you are feeling with your parents is decreasing. So me and my mom try to set one day in the week and leave all technology out and just talk all day long about school or work. I love that day of the week because it is stress free and a day that I can just hang out with my mom and tell her about life. I know im just 16 but these little aspects of my life leave me stress free and helps me make good decisions because I always can talk to my mom and get her advice!!