Here’s something shared by Toni, some Funny stuff!!! Can you think of other things that only happen in the movies?
1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or
opposite the building you are visiting.
2. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a
note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be
the exact fare.
3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
personally at the precise moment it’s aired.
4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should
always be closely investigated.
5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds.
UNLESS it’s the door to a burning building with a child inside.
6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into
will know all the steps.
7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will
not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with
a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German
soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in
11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often
than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned
a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have
been suspended from duty).
12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will
also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).
13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when
food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched
precariously on the dashboard…
15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which
will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break,
only fruit will spill out).
16. Cars never need fuel (unless they’re involved in a pursuit).
17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts,
your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing
around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their
18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.
19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just
throw the gun away. you will always find another one.
20. All single women have a cat.
21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal
gravity system is never damaged.
23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a
passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.
24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.
Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel
to any other part of the building undetected.
25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a
picture of your sweetheart back home.
26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis.
They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are
friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don’t mind at
all what the girl does for a living.
27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of
a football stadium.
28. It is not necessary to say “Hello” or “Goodbye” when
beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be
restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying “Hello?
29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all
than 20 men firing at once (this is known as Stallone’s Law).
30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room
will still be visible, just slightly bluish.
31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by
removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their
enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly
gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.
33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on
a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.
34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control
tower to talk you down.
35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a
strip club at least once.
36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and
accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.
38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red
handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.
39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture
present (even people who aren’t liked and would never get invited to
40. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real