Back in the days of snail mail, I received the following story and had it taped up on my refrigerator for the longest time. Then came along email and the internet and the lesson got passed along some more. I no longer have the story taped up on my fridge and I have gotten this story probably hundreds of times now, but the lesson never gets old.

After a long time (at least a couple of years) of not seing it, it just happened to pop up on me again recently and guess what? I read it through again, and still felt it resonate…

Never sweat the small stuff Have a great week, everyone!

The Familiar Lesson

“A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So, the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The students laughed.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled everything else.

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things—your family, your partner, your health—anything that is so important to you that if they were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first (which is what we often do), there is no room for the pebbles, and the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.”

I look in the mirror and and wonder where I had gone. Where did that flawless, youthful looking me go? Why is this middle aged woman with slack, lackluster and wrinkled face staring back at me? I had started to panic, I was scared I had missed something in between youth and middle age. How did I get here so fast?

Then, swift like a douse of cold water, I remember. It was that thing that happened a long time ago when I decided I deserved more. It was that time when I chose to follow my heart and be with a man. Not just any man, mind you. I wanted one who could make me laugh. Well, he was handsome too, but that’s not supposed to matter

The thing is, the more I look at myself in the mirror lately, I remember now why I look this way and it makes me happy. I get more beautiful the more I stare at myself.

I see every line on my face and remember the countless moments when we laughed so hard our stomaches ached.

I remember all the times when I cried I was so happy.

I was always beautiful even during the times when I looked worn, fat and unkept. I didn’t need a mirror then, I just needed his eyes.

When I went to look for a new bathing suit this past summer, I realized why the skirted one piece and tankinis were so popular with women my age and there were no yellow polka dotted bits in that department.

But I looked closer and realized that my body has become a map. It has gone and done what even my journals and blogs could not do. It has recorded every important milestone in my life and created this landscape on me. Every peak and valley, every twist and turn were all right there. All the parts are laid out just as they were meant to be. Raw, unaltered, honest and well-worn.

All I have to do is to look and realize… Hey, I don’t look bad at all! In fact, I do believe that man is not joking whenever he marvels at how beautiful I am…. wrinkles and all.

There’s a meme going on in Facebook where you update your status everyday, from now until Thanksgiving with one thing that you are thankful for. I’ll try to do that here too although I’m not going to promise posting everyday. My nablopomo days are over so I won’t make any promises I can’t keep.

Today I was thankful that I have a job. That is especially relevant since yesterday was the second round of lay offs at my job and I just lost some very good friends. My department was stripped down to half and I am one of the lucky who avoided being cut.

Although, the more I think about it, I don’t know that lucky is the right word for my situation right now. I may end up doing double and triple duties in the coming months, but today, I am thankful that I still have a job.

I will miss some awesome ladies, colleagues who have been like family these past eight years since I started working here. I will miss them. A LOT!

I posted this poem here before, I have it written in my journal/notebook that I carry with me all the time. Sometimes when I’m sitting waiting for the kids to get out of school or practice or whatever it is they may be doing, I take out my notebook and either write or just read what I’ve scribbled in the past.

The other day, I was feeling a little down.

The bills were coming due and more expenses were to be expected. It is, after all, end of the year already and the girls’ activities and expenses are increasing as we speak. I was thinking how it totally sucks that everytime unexpected expenses come up, I have to figure out a way to juggle this and that without having to go to the “borrowing from Paul to pay Peter” route. I was thinking I would write all about my suckiness in my notebook.

Then, I stumbled across this poem as I was flipping through the pages…