Category Archives: MOM

My Laziness Gets the Best of Me

Have you had your mammogram exam yet? If you’re over 40 and haven’t yet, I can totally relate. I am the best procrastinator especially when it comes to my own health. I put off this particular torture until I was 45 when my doctor insisted I get it done and would not trust me to make the appointment but rather went ahead and scheduled it for me.

It was uncomfortable as heck, I won’t lie to you, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought and all was well with that exam.

Last week, I went for my second mammogram roughly three years later than that first one. I was supposed to go last year, but again, I procrastinated and kind of ignored it. Anyway, this year I will turn 49 so I decided to go.

Well, earlier this week, they called not with the result I was expecting. They wanted me to go back for a repeat mammogram as they found two questionable areas. Oh fun! Right? So they scheduled me to go back the following day.

When I got home that evening, I forgot to tell my husband I had an appointment the next day. Maybe I didn’t forget… but rather just procrastinated again. I know he freaks out over these kind of things.

I was right. He got upset that I didn’t tell him right away. He said I should have called him as soon as I found out. I guess he’s right. But I don’t like to dwell on things that haven’t happened yet and I don’t like being fussed over (well maybe a little πŸ™‚ but only by him).

Well as it turns out they found two cysts. They are probably benign. My doctor thinks so too. But even then, a biopsy was recommended and scheduled for the following day which was yesterday. I went and had mine done. I wouldn’t say it was painless, but again, not as bad as I thought.

I am no stranger to cancer. I don’t think anyone is anymore. But sometimes, it just comes a little too close for comfort and this incident is just that side swipe I didn’t need. I am not freaked out about it or anything, the thing that affected me more is how my husband and family would react. With him, he was predictable as ever. Such a sweetheart! The girls were sweet too, although they are probably more worried than they let on. They are a lot like me in that way.

However, like my doctor said, it’s nothing to worry about and will more than likely be benign. In the meantime though, I have to wait until next week to hear the result.

I won’t be worrying though until there is something real to worry about. There is enough ‘what ifs’ as it is without me adding to it. Besides if you thought I was just too lazy that is why I procrastinate, then you’re right and I’m too lazy to worry too.

Now what fun thing should we do this weekend?

Mamapedia Launched

It’s 2:00 a.m. and your three month old is crying…a lot. You’re a first time mother, and while you’ve got a ton of questions, you called your mom at 2:00 in the morning last night about that crazy looking diaper, so you’d really like to get through this one on your own.

But where can you turn?

Hasn’t a scene similar to that happened to most first time moms? Except that for me, I didn’t call my mom not because she has been called on too often, it’s that early in my motherhood, I wanted to listen to ‘expert’ advice and not mom’s.

Sometimes some of the ‘generation gap’ that reared during our teens lingers into our early motherhood. You know what I’m talking about, that sense that mom is old fashioned and out of touch with the new ways of mothering. I don’t know about you, but I’m guilty of that. I would almost listen to anyone else who claimed to be an ‘authority’ before I would listen to my own mother. Then I realize that they were telling me the same things she tried to say. The only difference is that ‘they’ charged me for their advice and my mother’s is usually free and even came with bonuses.

But, that’s life… and that’s motherhood. We learn as we go along. True. But we don’t have to learn by stumbling from one mistake to another. Even in this modern world, or perhaps because of it, we can still find the ‘village’ that sense of community to tap into for help.

Mamapedia is a new site that takes the wisdom of thousands and thousands of moms and makes it searchable! You can head to the computer with that screaming infant in your arms and type, “Why does my baby cry so much at night?”

And this is what you’ll find – an article about a mom who asked a question titled “Sleepless Nights with a 13 week old” and the responses of forty-four moms. You can read those forty-four answers while bouncing your baby, and with a little luck by the time you are through your infant will be fast asleep and you will feel better as well.

To launch this new mom resource, the Momfluence network and Resourceful Mommy are throwing a party. Join us on Twitter this Friday, May 8th, from 9:00 to 10:00 p.m. eastern time along with mom experts in a variety of parenting areas: multiples, kid crafting, health and safety, potty training, home schooling and more!

During the party, details about a “What Can I Learn Today?” contest will be revealed…along with the incredible grand prize.
Join us by “RSVP’ing” here!

This event brought to you by Momfluence: rocking the cradle and shaping the world.

What do SAHMs do?

Anyone who dares ask, “What do stay at home moms do all day anyway?” is totally clueless or has a death wish and it better not be a husband asking this because they will not be a ‘husband’ for long, I can guarantee that. Luckily, it’s not a husband who posed that question.

I ran across a post about this article which is a clipping of Carolyn Hax’s syndicated column, Tell Me About It, on the Washington Post. It is an old article, it was first published on May 23, 2007 and it is again going around the internet. It’s a great answer to a stupid question, so I’m continuing to share it with you. I am not a stay at home mom but I have been and know exactly how it feels to be asked what you do all damn day. Not by my husband, mind you, he’s still around after all.

Don't squint trying to read the text from this photo, text is below.

Why Don’t Friends With Kids Have Time?
Tell Me About It by Carolyn Hax : Friend really doesn’t get the kid thing

Dear Carolyn:
My best friend has a child. Her: Exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What’d you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

OK. I’ve done Internet searches; I’ve talked to parents. I don’t get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please, no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners. . . . I do all those things, too, and I don’t do them every day. I guess what I’m asking is: What is a typical day, and why don’t moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events), and I manage to get it all done. I’m feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy β€” not a bad thing at all β€” but if so, why won’t my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest (“My life is so much harder than yours”)? What’s the deal? I’ve got friends with and without kids, and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.
β€” Tacoma, Wash.

Dear Tacoma:

Relax and enjoy. You’re funny.

Or you’re lying about having friends with kids.

Or you’re taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven’t personally been in the same room with them. Internet searches?

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand β€” while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom friends are either lying or competing with you β€” is disingenuous indeed.

So, since it’s validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm’s way; to answering their coos, cries and questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.

It’s needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It’s constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It’s constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family members and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It’s resisting the constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone’s long-term expense.

It’s doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything β€” language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity, empathy. Everything.

It’s also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy β€” and then when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, you wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend β€” a good friend wouldn’t judge you, complain about you to mutual friends or marvel at how much more productively she uses her time.

Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.

Teens Who Don’t Talk

This happens to me all the time. Call it coincidence, call it karma. Whatever you call it, I really do believe that you call to you what you need.
Teens
Anyway, just today I was thinking about teenagers. Ours and other people’s. You see, one teenager we know has been worrying her family because of how sullen and withdrawn she has become. She used to be a very sweet little girl. Most of us would chuck it up to typical teenage angst. Most of us say she’ll get over it.

It seems to me, that this ‘phase’ is such a waste of time and energy. And truthfully, there are a lot of kids who just don’t ever get over the ‘phase’. It escalates and manifests into different issues that affect them for the rest of their lives. Take the story I just read from Trent about a gifted child:
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The Free Spirited Wanderer

Obama & MomThe New York Times is running a series called The Long Run A Mother’s Influence which is a part of a series of articles about the life and careers of contenders for the 2008 Presidential Election.

I was intrigued by the story of Barack Obama’s mother, A Free Spirited Wanderer Who Set Obama’s Path. I thought, here is a woman who lived her life and although she may not have been the conventional mother to her children, she left them a legacy that is just as important. I thought this may be a fitting background to Mr. Obama’s story. As this week, he is fielding a lot of media regarding the effect of his minister’s incendiary remarks which are considered to divisive. Mr. Obama is among the many bi-racial citizens in this country who must balance walking in the world of black and white. I wish that wasn’t an issue, but the truth is, in this day and age, it is an issue. Maybe someday it will be a non-issue and we can just assess people according to their abilities and not the make up of their DNA. I hope that dream will be my children’s reality someday. It makes me wonder, if his mother is still alive, what she would think of her son and his balancing act.
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