Category Archives: relationships

Marriage-Divorce-01

Of Marriages and Divorces

Not too long ago, I found out that the country of my birth, the Philippines, is the remaining holdout (aside from the Vatican) to not have divorce laws in place. My parents, however, were divorced. They were married in the Philippines but had their marriage dissolved in the U.S. Getting divorced in another country is one of the very few recourse available to married Filipinos. Which in turn, perpetuates the ongoing myth in countries like the Philippines and elsewhere, that in the U.S., marriage is taken lightly and that most marriages end in divorce. A myth that is perpetuated by the media and celebrities, unfortunately.

The truth is, statistics show that the divorce myth in the U.S. is just that. A myth. The numbers show, according to this New York Times article that the divorce rate has slowed down over the past decade and that in fact, the institution of marriage is stronger than ever. I certainly see that among acquaintances. News of anyone getting a divorce has gotten rare that when you hear of one, it has become a shock.

The downturn of divorce rate is definitely a good thing, but as any married person can tell you, it is a reality and sometimes an inevitable conclusion to some marriages. Some marriages are just not meant to be and we have to realize and accept that. Personally, even as I have no plans or desire to end mine, I like having that option available. Everyone should be able to make their own choices.

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21 Years of US Being Imperfect

If WE were a person, we’d be of legal age by now. So join us in finally being able to toast togetherness legally 🙂

To the man who has hang in there with me all these years, through all the good and the bad, the highs and the lows; he who always can make me smile no matter how surly I feel and who always managed to put up with me both at my best and at my worst, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I love you more every day. Your love has made me a better woman.

Did I Marry the Right Person?

From Wedding

I’m sure many married people have asked themselves this question. At one time I did too.

My answer was: YES, I did marry the perfect person for me. The man I married 19 years ago knew just what I needed when I needed it and how I needed it.

He has driven me to madness but he has also propelled me to happiness.

He made me want to be a better person than I was; although he would have been perfectly happy with the girl he married, he makes me want to be worthy of his love.

He makes me smile. Even at my worst, this man can make me smile. And during the lowest of low moments when nothing could bring forth a smile, he was there to cushion me until I could muster one.

After 19 years of togetherness is our marriage perfect? Of course not. Nobody’s is. We make love but we also make wars. And I’ve learned that it’s all good because it’s what happens in between the loves and wars that truly matters. It’s the mundaneness of living everyday with the same person that is important. It’s the day’s hellos and goodbyes, the good mornings and good nights that matter. It’s the mere words and acts that we take for granted. It’s those that when you make a conscious effort to inject love in the ordinary and actually mean it, they become extra ordinary.

When you say ‘HELLO’, for instance, say it as if you said ‘hello! I am truly happy to see you’. When you say ‘GOOD MORNING’ say it as if saying ‘I am glad to open my eyes and you’re the first thing I see. I am glad to start another day with you and I can’t wait until we are back in this moment again to say GOOD NIGHT.’

To the man who still can make me smile and can still make me feel beautiful as a girl but respects me as a woman and friend, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. We don’t look the same as when we said I DO but neither would I say ‘I DO’ the same way. Today, if I were asked again to answer, I will say I DO more confidently and ardently because I know what is to come…and I do not regret one moment of what has come to pass.

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HIS slippers

MocsI was visiting The Coyboy’s Wife and found out that she is having a Land’s End Giveaway. She is giving away a very pretty red woman’s slippers, a fleece pajama set and these men’s moc slippers. My first instinct was the pajamas. My daughter would love to have one of those fleece pajamas. I wouldn’t have minded the red slippers either.

Then I realized, my poor husband doesn’t have good slippers and I didn’t even think about it until much later. I felt bad. I remember a time when he came first on my shopping list and any other lists. Now 17 years and 3 kids later, I realize I have kind of put him on the back burner. Poor thing just doesn’t come up on top of very many lists lately. I hear this is what happens to old married folks, but if you told me this 17 years ago I wouldn’t have believed you.

Our anniversary is coming up in a few days. We probably won’t be going anywhere just the two of us. We’ve just gotten in the habit of always having the girls with us for any celebration, birthdays and anniversaries alike. We don’t have a lot of time to be just the two of us anymore and I don’t think either of us mind. We both like having our girls with us. However, I think we do need to work on making each other more of a priority. We need to hike each other up a little higher on the list if you know what I mean.

For Better or Worse, My Other Half

I was tagged by Cheh, the Moderately Confused Pinay in Deutschland for this meme a while back and I am finally getting around to it today.

Here are the following guidelines of the meme:
1. First name: (a photo would be nice)
2. How and where did you meet?
3. Characteristics
4. Your plans 20 to 30 years from now.

This is a meme about our better halves. Or worse halves whichever way you want to look at it 🙂 No matter which way you look at it, they are our halves and without them we cannot be whole.

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