Category Archives: Teens

Teenage Drivers, Your Insurance and Umbrella

My soon to be 15 year old daughter just informed me that she would like to take driver’s education by spring, and she sent me the link where I can sign her up. Apparently, she can sign up for driver’s ed as early as 14.5 years old. And here I thought we didn’t have to worry about anything from her driving for yet another year!

All I could think of when she brought that up, is “OUR INSURANCE IS GOING UP AGAIN!”

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When is a hug considered sexual harassment?

Teenagers nowadays think nothing of giving each other hugs to greet each other. It is how we raised them. We raised them to show affection, we raised them to love. We also raised them to respect. We raised them to recognize the boundaries of what is right, what is wrong and what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

The other day when I picked her up from school, she was livid. She was outraged that on two separate occasions that day, two boys she considered as friends hugged her as is their usual way greeting each other. The first incident happened between classes. Her friend hugged her but in addition nuzzled her neck and kissed her neck. She said she was disgusted but was too shocked to say anything at the time. A little while later as she was going in to the classroom, another boy did the same thing to her. Whether the two contrived to do this to her or not, she is not sure. She is sure of how it made her feel. It made her feel uncomfortable and it made her feel dirty. She ran into the shower as soon as she got home to wash it all off. The thing is, you can not simply wash off the feeling of having been violated leaves behind.

You can’t simply chuck it to teenage hormones and that boys will be boys. Was she partly responsible for having been subjected to this? Should she consider changing the way she relates to her friends and should she be the one compelled to change classes so she does not have to deal with them again? The answer is a resounding NO.
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Is it OK to be Friends with Your Teens on Facebook?

I found out recently that sometimes, you can have information overload! lol 🙂 My daughter has me as friend on facebook and one time it just so happened that one of her updates that she had tagged me on generated a long and extended conversation among her friends. Some of which were not politically correct, some were rude, and some were mean. It bothered me a bit, how they talked to each other, not to mention that I received over 70 email notifications from this particular discussion. However, no one was getting offended and they seem to be having fun with it. I supposed it is just how they communicate with each other.

Instead of adding my comment to the fray, I took my daughter aside and talked to her about the language and tone of the conversation she was having with her friends. She admitted some of the comments had gotten out of hand and she took it upon herself to get her friends to tone it down.

Later, while talking about all the ‘discussions’ generated by that thread, she off-handedly thanked me for not commenting. I told her I had considered it… I really was going to say something to them about cleaning up their language and not be so rude to each other. My daughter said, “Thank you!! for not saying anything. That would have been so embarassing!” LOL! I guess if I was a teenager I would be embarassed too.

I found out about this funny site where teens can get revenge on their Facebook intruding parents by posting the offending comment from their ‘parentals’, as we are called.

So, you finally caved. You’ve accepted a friend request from your Mom, Dad, crazy Aunt Ida, and your college roommate’s newly divorced mother. Well here’s your chance to get back at them for taking away your public privacy.

The site is called My Parents Joined Facebook and the image below is an example of the kind of posts on there.

Like I said, I am friends with my daughters on Facebook but I try not to abuse the privillege. Some of their friends have even friended me and I’ve friended them back but I am very conservative with my interactions with them. I try to limit myself to simply clicking the ‘like’ button when the have something nice. NEVER wall-to-wall communiques and definitely no smart aleck comments no matter how funny I think it would be.

If you’re on the fence about having your kids or your family as Facebook friends, read more about this issue here in this amusing article, Parents’ Facebook Infiltration.

 

Communicate With Your Kids (7 of 7)

The bottom line of talking with your kids is to simply TALK. Start talking when they’re young, talk wherever you are and whatever you’re doing. Keep talking until you’re blue in the face and one day they will listen and it will all be worth it.

As important as talking, you also need to learn when to shut up and listen. I’m learning that we all need space but especially teenagers. Sometimes they just don’t feel like talking. Sometimes it’s enough that they are sitting in the same room as you.

UNIQUE CONVERSATION STARTERS

It’s easy to say just start talking but it’s not always easy to do. Sometimes we have to find other ways to get the conversation going. Some of the comments on our post about communicating with your kids generated a collection of unique and creative ideas to kick start communication with your kids.
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Communicate With Your Kids (6 of 7)

Continuing with our series on communicating with your kids, this time we’ll be talking about listening instead of talking.
 
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LISTEN, DON’T JUDGE AND BE HONEST – GIVE THEM SPACE


And most of all, stay calm. I know our first instinct usually is to protect them from what we know is surely impending mistakes. But, especially with older children, we have to realize that they have to find their own way and we can’t always fix everything in their lives. Sometimes we just have to be there to catch them when they fall.

Here are more comments from other moms and moms to be:
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