Tag Archives: relationships

Marriage-Divorce-01

Of Marriages and Divorces

Not too long ago, I found out that the country of my birth, the Philippines, is the remaining holdout (aside from the Vatican) to not have divorce laws in place. My parents, however, were divorced. They were married in the Philippines but had their marriage dissolved in the U.S. Getting divorced in another country is one of the very few recourse available to married Filipinos. Which in turn, perpetuates the ongoing myth in countries like the Philippines and elsewhere, that in the U.S., marriage is taken lightly and that most marriages end in divorce. A myth that is perpetuated by the media and celebrities, unfortunately.

The truth is, statistics show that the divorce myth in the U.S. is just that. A myth. The numbers show, according to this New York Times article that the divorce rate has slowed down over the past decade and that in fact, the institution of marriage is stronger than ever. I certainly see that among acquaintances. News of anyone getting a divorce has gotten rare that when you hear of one, it has become a shock.

The downturn of divorce rate is definitely a good thing, but as any married person can tell you, it is a reality and sometimes an inevitable conclusion to some marriages. Some marriages are just not meant to be and we have to realize and accept that. Personally, even as I have no plans or desire to end mine, I like having that option available. Everyone should be able to make their own choices.

What do you think? Continue reading

Now I Remember Why I Have Wrinkles!

I look in the mirror and and wonder where I had gone. Where did that flawless, youthful looking me go? Why is this middle aged woman with slack, lackluster and wrinkled face staring back at me? I had started to panic, I was scared I missed something in between youth and middle age. How did I get here so fast?

Then, swift like a douse of cold water, I remember. It was that thing that happened a long time ago when I decided I deserved more. It was that time when I chose to follow my heart and be with a man. Not just any man, mind you. I wanted one who could make me laugh. Well, he was handsome too, but that’s not supposed to matter 😉

The thing is, the more I look at myself in the mirror lately, I remember now why I look this way and it makes me happy. I get more beautiful the more I stare at myself.

I see every line on my face and remember the countless moments when we laughed so hard our stomaches ached.

I remember all the times when I cried I was so happy.

I was always beautiful even during the times when I looked worn, fat and unkept. I didn’t need a mirror then, I just needed his eyes.

When I went to look for a new bathing suit this past summer, I realized why the skirted one piece and tankinis were so popular with women my age and there were no yellow polka dotted bits in that department.

But I looked closer and realized that my body has become a map. It has gone and done what even my journals and blogs could not do. It has recorded every important milestone in my life and created this landscape on me. Every peak and valley, every twist and turn were all right there. All the parts are laid out just as they were meant to be. Raw, unaltered, honest and well-worn.

All I have to do is to look and realize… Hey, I don’t look bad at all! In fact, I do believe that man is not joking whenever he marvels at how beautiful I am…. wrinkles and all.

 

Love Gives Me Hope

It’s always the small events in life that matters the most and I have never felt that more to be true than the past week.

Last week, I received a disturbing message on facebook. Now I don’t usually entertain these type of messages and I’ve gotten pretty good at letting things roll off my back. But this one, it stung a bit because of the nature of it. I tried to laugh it off but it bugged me…

I wasn’t going to say anything about it, but my husband noticed that something was eating at me and so he asked what it is. So I told him.

Someone is jealous of me and claims that I am after her husband. This woman claims that I am flirting with her husband and wants to continue a relationship with him. She also claims that all my facebook updates are directed at her husband. That wouldn’t have been so bad in and of itself but she has also gone around to people who know me (are related to me) and told them her tale and plead with them to please talk some sense into me.

I told my husband the story, a little concerned that he may believe the rumors. You know what he said?
“I have a beautiful and intelligent wife!! It’s natural that they’d be jealous!”

Wasn’t that sweet? But that’s not all. He knows all this is going on around the things I post on facebook. So today, just a few minutes ago, actually, he comments on one of my posts and I just about cried! He never comments on my facebook! We would look at some of the things I post and discuss the more interesting comments at home, when we’re sitting next to each other. No need for us to comment on each other’s walls. But this time, I know he did it to show his support of what’s going on (he usually leaves me to do my thing on fb). I know he wants my fb stalkers to know he’s got my back no matter what they are claiming about me. See, my husband knows me better than anyone else. He knows such claims should be pitied.

So there! You gossipmongers, see if your husband who is supposed to be so wonderful that I would want to take him away from you, is as awesome than the one I have! I’d be insane to want anyone else!

There is a website called Love Gives Me Hope and I never thought I would ever have a story to post on a site like that but I think this story comes pretty darn close!

Today, my husband made me go “AWW” with something as simple as a comment on facebook. 😀

 
 
This post was entered into the It’s a Wife’s Life Blog Carnival. The next carnival will be in September. If you have a wifely story to share, make sure to submit it before Sept. 8 by using the submission form.