Category Archives: relationships

What were you thinking?

I was tagged by Teacher Julie a few weeks back to talk about what I was thinking when I met my husband.

I was not in a happy place when I met my husband. I was just coming out of an eight year relationship that ended badly and meeting someone else was the farthest thing on my mind. It was a weird time when I felt so low and unattractive but strangely light as if a huge burden has been lifted off me.

I talked to my husband first before I ever met him. He had called looking for my sister’s fiance’ who was, coincidentally, his half brother. Although the conversations was brief, he claims that even then he thought me attractive sounding. I don’t even remember that conversation until years later when I was cleaning some papers and I had written down on a piece of paper, “Mike from North Carolina called for James”.
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Summer Fun

They are having fun, and I miss them, but this is their time to bond with their cousins. I was just thinking this week how nowadays we are all so busy with our own lives and living so far apart that we don’t really get to know our cousins. When my husband and I were growing up (him here, and me in the Philippines) our cousins were like our siblings. We just took it for granted that they are part of our lives then and always.

Some of my most cherished memories were the antics my cousins and I used to get into. We also got into fights, battles, with each other which of course always ends up in us getting into major trouble then making up later on. I still remember a precious trike we received as a christmas present which lasted all but three days because my cousins and I, all thirteen of us (then), decided to all get on at the same time. I wish I could have had a photo of that; we may have broken a record.

Even though I miss my girls, and really I do, I hope they are making these kinds of memories with their cousins. Their cousins are a lot younger than they are, but I hear they hold their own pretty well 🙂

My Frog Prince

The girls are off to grandmas house for the summer so it’s only the hubby and I for a whole month! As much as we love our girls and we do genuinely love their company, the dynamics of our interaction really changes when they are out of the house.

It’s been two weeks since they left and during that time I cooked a total of 4 times, hubby cleaned the house twice, and we’ve only done laundry three times! We’ve gone out to eat at least five times (yikes!), gone to the grocery store twice, and only wash dishes once a day sometimes not even. You don’t realize how much chore it is to keep a house until you are freed from doing some of them. When the girls are home, we run at least two loads of laundry a day, wash dishes twice a day, sometimes three, cook at least seven times a week, mop the floors three times a week, fold laundry everyday, and clean the bathrooms every other day. Oh, and take the trash out everyday. We hadn’t had to take trash out but once a week, on trash day. Whew!!

So what do we do with our free time? We treat ourselves like kings and queens. We come home at the end of the day and take a refreshing drink out to the garden where we sit and relax until we get hungry. When we’re hungry, we get to cook what we feel like eating, be as spicy as we wanna be ;), or as sinfull as we want to be 😀 (I’m talking about food, people).

Sistah, Sistah

Sister O is the one I described in my previous post as:

Sister O was the middle child and proudly carried all the angsts to go with her position. She was the rebel child. She was the sister you’d like to deny in high school. She is outspoken and has strong opinions that she will not hesitate to share with whomever. She was the rebel, and has been labeled the black sheep at one time or another. She was the ubiquitous party girl. Now she is a stay at home mom to two little girls and you wouldn’t think it’s the same girl. Well, she’s not. Not the same girl, I mean. She is now a woman, and a mom, and a good friend.

I would just like to add that even though her lifestyle has changed drastically since she grew up got married and had kids, her opinionatedness and willingness to share it has not abated. She does some of it in her blog where she goes to stay connected to adult talk 🙂 Visit her there sometime and give her a break from mommydom.

15 Years and counting

Getting married is like signing a blank check. You have no idea how much it will cost you. You are committing an unquantifiable amount of material and emotional capital – time, money, patience, sacrifice, and an infinite number of things you have not even begun to imagine that you must deal with eventually.

Jim Paredes, Writing On Air
part of a beautiful tribute to his wife for their 29th Anniversary

We signed our blank check a mere 15 years ago, and it has cost us dearly but the interest have also made it all worthwhile. Our marriage has not been all smooth sailing by any means. We’ve had our ups and downs and when we’ve been down it seems that being down is all there is. I’m sure the thought to withdraw our investment has crossed both our minds more than once. But like savvy investors, we’ve hung in there for the long run and are still there today. Is it any easier after 15 years?

No, not really. It, marriage, is a work in progress. It is like a garden. It changes with the seasons. Some years it is healthy and abundant, and others it becomes infested with bugs.

We were no spring chickens when we met. We were both veterans of the dating/love war scene by then. I was 28 and was tired of dating immature men. He was 40 and was tired of silly women. We were both ready for a relationship that is more meaningful, committed, and lasting.

We didn’t date long, we were married within a year after we first met. Proving what I always thought, that I would know when the right person and the right time came along. As the old cliche’ goes, love did come along when I was neither looking for it nor expecting it.

We are polar opposites in many ways but I think our souls are kindred spirits. I love him because of who I am because I am with him. He keeps me honest about who I am and who I can be. He reminds me to enjoy the beauty around me and he reminds me to be thankful. He is my better half, he makes me whole.

I am beautiful
Because of how you see me
You make me better

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